I was there last night

i’m still figuring it out. i’ll probably be figuring it out for the rest of my life, and that’s if i’m lucky. the world is our playground… and we’re fortunate to experience the parts we can. there are just endless facets to everything. that’s the beauty of life.

take NYC for example. every time i come back, it’s a different reality. and very few people in the city can say they share the same take on it – it’s a big black hole of life experience to infinity. that’s what i love about it.

i’m back home in new york. but it’s not really home anymore, is it?

well, no place is home right now.

i don’t live anywhere. my lease was up in san francisco and my (non-related) twin brother justin and i decided it was the right time to drive my 9 year old jetta cross-country. i still owe a few blogs posts on that experience and TRUST ME one day (soon) i will be sharing those moments. they were rad.

my eyes are burning so i should probably go to sleep but just laid there reflecting so got up and started writing. this whole blogging thing – very therapeutic

2008 has been the year of travel … learning the conference business and world of Web 2.0 boot camp. BOOT CAMP.

i’ve packed so much into my head in the last 6 months i fear that i’m forgetting names of my relatives to make room for it. i used to send birthday and christmas cards to everyone. snail mail style. and now i can barely get a text or email out. i’m sorry everyone. when things settle… my USPS deliveries will come back. promise. oh how i miss my colored pens and address labels.

which brings me to what i ponder on a lot… GEEZ, when and more importantly, where will i settle?

i’m 28 years old and love growing older. living life, collecting wisdom year after year. working harder, shining brighter, making the world a better place for me and mine.

i’ve experienced a lot in my life and have done all kinds of random. have always been a workhorse – i get that from my mom. i got a full scholarship to college, landed great jobs and put myself through grad school. but oftentimes i still feel like a big fuck up … perhaps bc i haven’t bought my parents a house yet or see my grandmother only sporadically now that i’m traveling so much. these thoughts are the result of the strong family values and korean guilt ingrained in my DNA.

a few months ago in paris i had this big epiphany about life that scared the shit out of me. and now i’m thinking that i really need to ’settle down’ someplace. and join a group or something. go to church. establish routine. it’s weird. travel is all i ever wanted to do.

this nomadic-ness is exhilarating yet brings with it varying degrees of mental, physical or emotional exhaustion. but i don’t have to live this way. i chose it. it’s the right time to do this. so i’m doing it. and loving it. and i’m grateful every day to have a job that supports this lifestyle.

the plan is to stay bi-coastal, tri-city, transatlantic for the remainder of this year. i’ll spend christmas with the fam here in NY, which i missed for the last two years. i’m hoping that by the time i ring in the new year i’ll have a better sense of where i belong.

hey janetti, where to next?

great question.